Archive for December, 2009

2009 Ended with a POOF!

Wow with everything that has gone thru this weekend, most people are surprised I’m not insane.

There was a fire in my house Saturday December 19, night. It started in my bedroom and everything else, pretty much followed.

The Fire!

Well let me start from the beginning.

I came home at around 11:30 in the morning on Saturday, which is usual for me. I told my husband to get ready so we could all go get our hair cut so we could look good and fresh for Santa.

We started our Saturday like always, we went to the local diner. We had the same meal we always did on Saturday mornings. And then we went to do our hair.

I’m a girl so I went first, cuz u no we always take the longest. Than while the dye was sitting in my hair, we had the baby do his hair to. And once he was done, my husband went next.
So we’re all done with our new make-over. We decided to head home to pick out an outfit so we could see Santa. But we got to sidetracked by the snow. My son was born for last years snow storm but he was too young to really appreciate it. And this year we were just running around playing in the snow. We gave him wise advice “never eat snow that has been on the floor, or especially the yellow snow” living in new york we also told him not to eat the black snow either lolsz.

We got home and my husband suggested we take off our shoes before entering the house. That way we don’t mess up the carpet. Me and my husband took of our shoes first. I went to put them by the door and I smell smoke. I yell that there’s smoke coming from our house, my husband rushes to the house and trys to see where the fire is coming from. And its coming from our bedroom. He opens the dOor and gets smacked by black smoke. He gets out and he tells me to call 911.

My neighbors knock on our door and tell us to go to there house. I grab my son and my dog and we head over there. The fire department comes in about 3 minutes. I tried to stay calm. But the amount of smoke passing onto my neighbors house was too much. I grab my son, wrapped him in his coat and grabbed the dog and ran, in heals, in the snow, to my mothers house. I left both the baby and the puppy there and ran back home to be with my husband. I think with the way I was ringing the doorbell they knew I was in trouble. They knew I needed them.

I started hearing the firemen say that they had to break down the roof to get in, the fire was too bad to try and get in any other way. I started breaking down into tears with the thought of my house disappearing. And then, I hear them breaking all my windows. I heard them breaking the door, and then, I saw them throwing out all my belongings out my bedroom window. First my A/C (yes it was styll connected) than my closet door, then my mattress, then my framing of my bed. They broke my door into ten pieces and all those pieces were thrown out the window too.

Having a 7 month old dog and a 22 month old son, we thought it’d be best to leave everything in our bedroom. Our living room was empty, except for our couch. We had shelves on the wall and we had a mount for the flat screen TV. Even our Christmas tree was elevated so the dog couldn’t get to it. In the other room was my husbands photography stuff, except for this day. My sons room was the farthest of the house and only consisted of his crib and a dresser. Again, the best way for our house not to be a mess, was for us to avoid having anything around.

Anything of any importance was always in our bedroom. Paperworks, laptop, cell phone, clothes etc. You name it, it was in there. Why? Because we could close the door at any point knowing the dog or the baby would not get into our room. And that’s where the fire began.

We had a portable heater connected for the winter time. We had it connected to an extension cord, (it had its own outlet on the wall) and the extension cord was just not powerful enough to hold the heater. And that’s where the fire started. They believe the first thing to go was my bed. And from there, everything just followed.

Finally the firemen leave and they give us permiSsion to go inside and grab whatever we can, that survived. Except there’s no electricity in the house now so the policemen were there to help light the way. First place we went to was our bedroom, or at least, whatever was left of it. Everything was black, the walls, the floor, everything. They took down the wall that separated the kitchen to the bedroom. My closet wall was completely broken down. And there was a huge whole on my roof. In every room of the house, all the windows were broken down, and the walls were broken. Everything was just destroyed. I grabbed a luggage and saved whatever I could. Which honestly wasn’t a lot. I saved a few pictures on the wall, I saved all my husbands equipment and my collection of Disney DVD’s. The most important thing, was that I saved my sons Teddy. He cannot sleep without him. But other than that, we had nothing. No clothes, no toys, no Christmas. All my Christmas presents were in my room (so the dog couldn’t get to them) and they were burnt down.

And finally, the American Red Cross came. The helped us with a hotel for a few nights, some money to buy things we needed, and a change of clothes to get the smoke out of our system.

My life just passed before my eyes. I have never felt so many emotions all at once. First I’m happy playing in the snow with my son and husband. Then I’m scared cuz I see the smoke. Than I’m frighten by the firemen, than I’m trying to be strong for my husband and son. Than I’m pissed that I lost everything. Then I’m relieved we’re alive and safe. Than I’m calm as everything is processing and counting my blessings (I could have been on that bed). Then I realize, everything happens for a reason and all you need to do is rely on God, that everything will be ok,….

We get to the hotel, after making a few phone calls to a few of my closest family members and friends. It finally hits me, Shit I have no place to live. Shit! I have no place to spend Christmas with my son.

And my husband calmly looks at me, holds me, kisses me and promises me everything is going to be alright.

He saw the goodness of everything and helped me see it too. He showed me that 2010 is going to be the start of a new beginning. Not just for the New Year, or the new decade, but also for a new us. A new place to live. New appearances (since we just got our hair done, and we were forced to buy a new wardrobe) and new lifestyle. We were going to be a new us. Everything that was ever bad or negative in our lifestyle was taken by that fire. Nothing good was taken from that fire because I still have the 2 most important things to me. My family and my health.

Right now we’re struggling. But we’re together and that’s what matters. And it makes it so much easier knowing that I have friends and family members that I can count on. So many people have donates money, clothes, furniture, time, they have opened there doors to us and opened there hearts to us, that we are truly blessed to be alive and around for the new year. I refuse for this fire to take over our lives. I refuse to shed a tear for this fire. I refuse to stay still. Nothing will bring my family down. We will move on from this, and if I waste more time on shedding tears than I will not move forward. We are going into 2010 really hard and we will survive all the obstacles that God has and will continue to bestow upon us.

I have written this blog, for many different reasons. One being, that too many people were asking me details, and now here you have them 🙂 and the second reason hoping that people out there realize, that there is more to life than the drama you put yourself thru. I honestly thought I had no friends. That I only had that relationship as hi and bye with certain people. But it was those people that stood up the most and helped me and my family out where we needed.

Now hopefully, the questions will stop about the fire, but hopefully the support will still keep coming. Hopefully after reading this blog you will understand why I’m not as hurt or tormented by the fire as people must assume. Me and my family are strong and once we find our new place, I will let you guys know.


NH ❤


The Princess and The Frog

This weekend was by far one of the best weekends in a long time. It all started with Friday when my husband and son came to work with me. I started showing him off, and before you know it, it was time for me to leave.

Family Time 😀

I wanted to continue spending time with them, so me and my husband planned to go to the movies with our son.

It was between Planet 51 (It’s a cartoon, it’s mostly for boys since they like all that alien stuff) or The Princess and the Frog (cuz I’m a girl and deep down every girl, watching the Princess movies, makes us feel like little girls again.)

Decisions, decisions 😦

We decided to watch whichever movie was playing earlier, and I won. Princess and the Frog was playing first so we went to watch this movie, and it was such a great movie. We stayed until a little after the end of the movie and into the credits. I thought everything about the movie was great. And then I heard the song in the end “Never knew I Needed.” I started listening to the lyrics, to the beat and I think I found my new favorite song. And than I started listening to the voice. Sounded alot like Chris Brown, and than I was turned of from the song. And than as I was leaving the theather, the credits showed that this song was by Ne-yo.

Never knew I Needed by Ne-Yo

And that pissed me off even more.

Not sayin I don’t like Ne-yo. I actually admire his music. But I don’t like Chris Brown. Not because of his music but because I lost total respect for his as an artist/human when the whole deal happened between him and Rihanna.

Anti-Chris Brown

You know what else I hate? Artist who song alike. Why is it so hard to be original nowadays? I was listening to Ne-yo and then to Chris Brown and they soound soooo much alike, and it started upsetting me even more.

And what’s sad is that they’re not the only ones who sound alike.

There are certain songs, where Katy Perry sounds like Gwen Stefani. Where Lady  Gaga sounds like P!nk. Whatever happened to that original sound. The new feeling?

I listen to Pandora and when pandora plays one of my songs, I love it, because I don’t hear people like that anymore. Even the artist that we admire and look up to the most, the ones whose concerts we go to, are all frauds and fakes.

Ashlee Simpson is one of the MANY frauds in this industry!!

It seems as humanity evolves the lazier we get. We get so lazy that we can’t even come up with an opinion of our own based on the music that we hear. We’re so lazy we listen to whatever society tells us and agree with it. We have no opinion about it at all because society decides everything for us. Society decides when we sleep, eat, fart and fuck and it’s so frustrating.

And we let them, because we’re to lazy to do anything anymore.

And people get mad when machines have started to take control of everything. Because man (humans in general) are too lazy to do there job. We pay our bills online, because we’re to lazy to go to write out a check, and even lazier to go to the post office. And than people wonder why the unemployment rate is so high.

Stop being lazy and unoriginal 😦

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Tetris vs. Life

I spend an hour going to work and an hour coming home from work on the train on a daily basis. Monday thru Friday,(unless on a holiday) I am on the train.


And so my story begins,


I’m on the train, and I’m listening to all the chatter going on, the music playing, I hear people coughing, someone is even snoring. This is a typical train ride.


To entertain myself, I play Tetris on my phone. Tetris keeps me occupied and makes the time go by so much faster. I don’t have to count the train stops until I have to get off to catch my train, I don’t look at my watch to show that I’m running late. Tetris entertains me and keeps me from thinking.


Until this morning.


I began playing Tetris and I started realizing how life is so much like the game of Tetris.


Level one, is the easiest level, you get a clean board and you get to put the pieces where you want to to easily make the rows disappear. As the tower gets taller, it starts becoming more difficult to eliminate the rows.

Level 1

As the levels get harder, the pieces drop faster. And it starts becoming harder to turn the pieces and get it in the right spot at the same time.


When the pieces drop where you don’t want them to drop you have to figure out a way to eliminate that row.

I work so hard to try and keep all my rows together, but then there’s that slip. You wanted the purple “L” to go in this opening but because I didn’t calculate it right, it’s now somewhere that I cant anything with it.

 But in order to win the game, you have to figure out how to get rid of that mistake and still continue with the rest of the game.

When you’re a baby (level 1) everything is so easy, everything is handed to you. People do anything and everything for you. As you get older (Level 6), you start realizing the good from the bad; the right from the wrong.  Once you become an adult (Level 12?) everything moves so fast, that sometimes you don’t have time to move it into the right areas that it ends up becoming a burden and you have to work around it. At the end of your life (level 16?) everything is going so fast that you sometimes just want to give up, but you know that when there’s a will, there’s a way.

Level 1 to Level HARD!!!!!!

Hmm,..maybe I should stop taking the train! Makes me think too much lolsz 😀

I think too much!!!


NH ❤

It’s Just One Of Those Days

Do you remember when music used to be good? When you could just sit and relax and listen to your walkman (yes I said it) and actually be able to relate to everything.

Yes! A Walkman,...Almost as lame as VCR's

No matter what your mood was for that day, you could always find a song that you could relate to?

I’m sitting at work and I have the radio on and all the songs I hear are party music. I’m at my desk, I don’t want to start grinding my chair. I don’t want to be in the Christmas spirit. No, I just want some depressing shit right now. And why can’t I get that?

Bah Fucken Humbug!!

Bah Fucken Humbug!!

It sucks that i have to resort to my own iPod or even Pandora to be able to tell the story of my life right now. What happens when my phone, or iPod isn’t fully charged? Or my internet isn’t working? I’m going to be forced to listen to crappy music on the radio, which is gonna get me even more pissed.

I love Pandora 🙂

Dear God!!!

Please tell Radio DJ’s they all suck. Please tell listeners they all suck for wanting to bump and grind 24/7! Please bring back the good old music, when you could be depressed, happy and sad all in the same song. Please Lord, I beg of you to let me vent with this music.


NH ❤

Please Lord!!!!

Current Mood: Pissed the F*** off.

On My Playlist: Break Stuff by Limp Bizkit

Break Stuff

 Its just one of those days
When you don’t wanna wake up
Everything is fucked
Everybody sux
You don’t really know why
But want justify
Rippin’ someone’s head off
No human contact
And if you interact
Your life is on contract
Your best bet is to stay away motherfucker
It’s just one of those days!!



NH ❤