Archive for March, 2011

The Perfect Man

Many women wonder when the perfect guy is going to come to them. They wonder why it seems that all their friends have found happiness and they’re the only ones left to seek their Prince Charming.
But what does the “perfect man” consist of??
Us women, are complicated individuals. We can never make up our minds about anything. What I say today about my idea of the perfect may not be what I mean tomorrow, or the day after, or in a week, not even a month from now.

 

 

My Perfect Man

  • He must be taller than me in heels
  • He must have at least one child (so he understands me when I can’t “hang out” because it is my weekend with my son)
  • He must have a good job, that gives him no more than 40 hours because I want some “us” time
  • He must be latino
  • He must be OLDER than me (by more than a month)
  • He must have the perfect skin tone
  • He must treat me like I am HIS queen, so that I can treat him like he is MY king
  • He must get along with his family (not a momma’s boy, but a man who can call his mom just to say hi)
  • He must be a good sexual partner (after at least a month of dating exclusively)
  • If he is NOT believe in a religion, than respect my views of religion
  • Must respect my political views
  • Even though he will probably never meet my son until we are well into the relationship, he has to get along with kids. I will most likely take him to a place where I know kids will be, to see how he acts around them.
  • He cannot be cheap. Not saying I’m a gold digger, I don’t mind the occasional dates to McDonald’s or the Halal guy right outside, but going out every once in a while is always good.
  • He has to like cuddling and staying indoors and watching movies
  • He cannot get jealous if I’m going out with my girls (even though a little jealously is cute)
Ok, so you get the point. This is just MY list. Every woman’s list is much different, but that doesn’t mean to say we don’t know what we want. Just because we know what we want doesn’t mean that we’ll get it though. I can search high and low and I will never find a man who has all these qualities. But that’s not to say that there isn’t a man out there that doesn’t deserve my heart.
I must be the luckiest girl on the planet because I have been fortunately enough to find my “perfect man”
While he may not contain the qualities I want from my “typical” man, he is the one that has stolen my heart.

 

The Man For Me

  • He tells me he loves me every chance he gets
  • He loves to cuddle
  • He’ll watch whatever chick flick I want to watch, with occasionally watching his shows as well
  • He doesn’t chose sports over me
  • He kisses me every time, without me asking
  • He’ll call me when we’re not together, just to tell me he misses me
  • Whenever I’m happy, he’s happy
  • Whenever I’m sad he’s trying his best to make me happy
  • My family loves him
  • He understands why I go to church
  • He needs me just as much as I need him
  • He is extremely cute
  • He’s latino
  • He has an awesome personality
  • When we go on dates, everyone stares at him, but I know that at the end of the day, he’s coming home with me
  • He doesn’t have wandering eyes
  • I can hold any type of conversation with him
  • I treat him like he is my king and he treats me like I am his queen
  • He has the most gorgeous eyes I have ever seen
  • I know that one day he’ll be taller than me
  • He calls me mommy/mami
I have been enjoying my single life, and while sometimes I wonder if I’ll ever be happy again, I look at my life, and all those in it, and I realize that YES I WILL BE HAPPY. No one guy can define my happiness just because I want a guy. But the only man who matters has been in my life for over 3 years. He will worry about me just as much as I worry about him. And I know that he’ll never cheat on me, or deceive me, or leave me for another woman (at least until he finds out that girls make him ‘happy’) my baby boy will ALWAYS be my baby boy. Whether is he 3 or 13 or 30, he will always be the man who changed my life, he will always be the one that stole my heart, he will always be mine.

Until Next Time

NH<3

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I Promise

I had a different blog in mind. But I guess that’s how life works out right? You always plan for one thing and then another thing pops up and takes over when you least expect it to.

My first blog was going to talk about my birthday and the things that I’ve experienced/learned in my 23 years of life. But I think one of the BIGGEST things that I learned in life, happened within the last 3 years of when I had my baby boy.

This will probably be a long blog, but there is so much that is being needed to say, so bare with me while I bare my heart to this blog.

Well I guess I can’t really call him a baby anymore. Every time I do he always corrects me and says “Mami, I’m not a baby, I’m a BIG BOY.” And he’s right. He’s not my little baby anymore. He is growing to be more and more independent everyday. He even goes to the bathroom without me, and he has even learned to bathe himself without me. I go into the bathroom with him just to supervise and he’ll kick me out of the room. Even if I open the door to check up on him, he’ll scream at me to close the door. He’ll use me for things he can’t get himself. Every morning he wakes up before me, and the TV is automatically programmed to his channel, he’ll turn on the TV, he’ll go to the bathroom, but he can never reach the cereal (which is on top of the refrigerator) so he’ll wake me up to get his cereal. My baby has definitely grown to become a smart little boy.

He’ll tell me how his day goes, and ask me about mine. He understands that I go to work to make money so I can support him, and everyday when I come home from work, he’ll ask me for HIS money. The way his mind works just entertains me all on its own. He makes me so proud because I feel that I am doing something right by raising such a smart little boy.

We were in the car the other day and my mom has the GPS on. The GPS would tell us to turn right or turn left and my son would say “mama, the little TV says to turn left. Left is that way.” And he’ll point to his left. He randomly starting counting in spanish to 10, and this is without me even initiating the count down. I know EVERY mom feels that there kid is the smartest kid in the world, and I don’t think that, but I am fascinated by his learning abilities.

Before it seems that I am rambling about how smart he really is, let me get to the point of my blog.

My son goes to sleep every night between the hours of 7:30 and 8pm. For some reason on this particular night, he woke up at about 12:30am. He started crying asking for me, and I went to his bed to comfort him, and then he hugs me and tells me that he misses me. I kiss him and tuck him in and I tell him that I miss and love him too. He uncovers himself and says “I miss my mommy and daddy together.” I step back and hold my breath for a moment.

How do I respond to this? How can he understand that we’re not together anymore? I thought I had explained to him before that mommy and daddy still love each other but they cannot be together anymore? How many times do I have to relive this conversation? Mommy and Daddy not being together hurts me just as much as it hurts him not to see us together.

One thing that I have learned is that when your child tells you something,  you have to listen. You may be in a rush, or impatient, or not want to hear it, but whenever they want to talk to you, you drop everything and listen to them. You can never force a child to speak to you unless they want to. And while the timing may be horrible for you, this is the perfect time for them. So while in my mind I’m thinking, ‘It is past midnight and I am tired’ I climbed into my son’s toddler size bed, placed his “CARS” themed covers over myself, put my arms around him and asked him what he thought of us not being together. I could feel the burning sensation in my eyes that were holding back tears, I could feel my heart beat slowing down as I was dreading this conversation. And he told me the truth.

“I don’t like having 2 homes.”

“I want mommy and daddy to kiss each other.”

“I miss you when you’re not with me.”

“I miss daddy when I’m not with him.”

“I want mommy and daddy together again.”

I had no words for him at this point. How does a 3-year-old understand all of this? How does a 3-year-old understand what love between two parents do? Why did I think that my son would understand this change in his life? Why didn’t i emphasize this conversation before?

“Baby, mommy and daddy still love each other,” I heard myself say, “but we cannot live in the same house together. You don’t like mommy angry right?”

He shook his head to show that he understood question.

“And what about daddy? Do you like daddy when he’s angry or sad?”

He shook his head.

“Well that’s why mommy and daddy aren’t together. We made each other angry all the time. And we were always sad. Mommy and Daddy are happy now. Can you see that?”

He nodded.

“I know it’s hard to understand but when mommy and daddy are happy, YOU can be happy too.”

He gave me a puzzled look.

“Are you happy?”

He didn’t answer.

“I know you miss Daddy when you’re with me, but you can always see him, and we can call him on the phone too. Do you want us to be happy?”

He nodded and he finally moved his lips as if to say something,

“I don’t want daddy with anyone else.” [That’s a blog for a different day]

“Daddy will find someone else to make him happy like mommy was never able to, but they will never be your mommy. I am never going to leave you, and daddy will always be your daddy no matter what.”

Promise?”

“I promise with all my heart and soul that you are number one to me AND to daddy.”

“I want you to be happy mommy. Do I make you happy?”

“You make me the happiest that I have ever been, big boy.”

“Will you always love me?”

“Always and forever”

“Will Daddy always love me.”

“He will never STOP loving his big boy.”

“Ok mommy.”

“Do you feel better?”

“Yes. Goodnight mommy.”

And he gives me the wettest kiss and the warmest hug that I have ever felt from him. He kept his arm around me and his head on my bosom and made me promise to never leave him, I kissed his forehead and promised I would always be around, no matter what. The second he fell asleep, I slid out of his bed and texted Harts and told him we needed to talk. This is a conversation that both mommy and daddy should have with him. I climbed into my own bed, and curled myself up on my own pillow, and put my own covers over my head, and I cried myself to sleep. Not because I miss Harts or what we shared, but because my son missed him and what we shared.

As a parent you always try your best to make everything work out for your kids. You prioritize your kids above all else. And when things that you thought you have explained to them come back and bite you in the ass, it hurts so much.

I beat myself up thinking that my son is too young to understand these things, but he surprises me everyday with the extend of his knowledge. It’s been almost 4 months that we have separated and I know that it has effected my son, but I never thought it affected him THIS much. As a mom, that it wrong of me to under-estimate my son.

But I will be true to my promise.

I promise to always love my son and put him above all else. To put him above all men that come and go in my life. To love him no matter what and to never leave him.

02012008 ❤

Until Next Time

NH<3

*Don’t forget to follow me on twitter & facebook