Don’t you just wish that life could be like a movie? That everything bad happens to you all at once and then a short 2 hours later, bada bing bada boom, everything is resolved and you are still alive and everything is back to normal. 

No one ever warns you about the, for lack of a better word, bull shit. Everything in life is just bull shit. The people you deal with, the things they do, the thought process they have. 

How can you do something and not think about the consequences, and not even think about the consequences but all the people that it affects. You cannot be that serious that you only care about yourself and no one else. Every mini battle always turns into a war, and wars take forever to end. 

The perfect example is of this current tragedy we are dealing with just 5 hours away from home. The bombings in Boston are crazy. When 9/11 first happened no one thought that it would hit home. No one believed that we would be such targets, and there we were, 10+ years later still at war. When does it end? Their leader was killed, but that doesn’t mean that this is the end. Now Boston, The kid was my age, well almost my age. Here is this 19 year old kid and his older brother, 26, and they’re doing something that people there age shouldn’t be. Why are you so angry with the world? What was done to you? I’m sorry! I’m sorry for the struggle you had to go through alone, and for the anger you hold in your heart. I’m sorry that no one reached out to you before it was too late. Now you have to spend the rest of your life with those deaths on your conscience, and while you may not feel it now, something in life is going to change you and make you understand the reality of the situation. 

You hear a lot on the news of shoot outs, run bys, kidnappings, drug deals, etc etc. And you never expect it to come home. These are all things that come from the magic box in the room. Whether you’re browsing through the channels or you just popped in a DVD, this does not happen in your own backyard. You never imagine that you would be shut in your own home forbidden to get out like those people in Massachusetts, in Watertown and Newtown. I could not begin to the anxiety these people might feel; the pain & the confusion! The things they lost, their innocence their idealism.  I wish there were words to make pain just go away, because those boys that did this, it all started with pain. The pain is somewhere in them and now one of them is 6ft under with no admission into the kingdom of God and with no remorse here on Earth, and the other one, on the run all alone.

Isn’t this the part of the movie where we fast forward it? Shouldn’t this movie be over already? This much pain is not shown in movies, how are we supposed to handle this?

By this time in the movie, they would have caught the bad guy including the shoot out but the city would be destroyed and everyone would go back on their merry way like nothing has ever happened.

Is it weird that I wake up every so often and look out the window, which says a lot since I don’t have a view from my window, and just want to know the conclusion.

Not even the Boston thing, more so of a personal aspect, when is MY movie going to end. What is the ending to my movie? Is everything going to be ok? Am I going to be successful, is my son going to be brilliant and still love me as a teenager? Will I ever get my dream wedding and my big family? Will I ever stop being so hurting from the anger? Will I still have my health, and my sanity? 


I just want to know the end of the movie, so that way I know that the 2 hours until the ending of the movie is really worth experiencing.