I don’t know what it is about me and having a tendacy of over-analyzing a situation, but its what makes me me.
When I got married 4 years ago, I was hesistant to take Harts name, because I didn’t want to be known as ‘his’ but as my own person. Relunctaly, I took his last name either way. I knew it would offend my newlywed husband if I still kept my name, so to make him happy, I took his name. My best friend still lived in New York at the time of this, she was there at the wedding etc.
One day, my best friend came over to my house, and said she wanted to get her tattoo. I didn’t even know she had a tattoo in the first place that she wanted to get another one (we had a falling out for about a year). As to not feel left out, I decided I would join her in getting a tattoo. I decided that this tattoo would be for my then husband, and I would tat his last name on my back. This was my way of showing him I was commited.
They say once you get a tattoo, you’re addicted to it and want to get another one. Within 3 months I got 3 tattoos. I added on to my husband’s name because it was really boring, just sitting on my back all alone, so I decided to add the pisces symbol around it. I loved my tattoos for a long time. Once things started not looking up in my relationship, I wanted to cover up my tattoo. I knew that I would eventually change my name, and I needed this to change ASAP. Granted, it is my son’s name, but I already have a tattoo dedicated to my son, there was no justifying my husband’s last name anymore, especially when I don’t even like the name.
I went with a friend to a tattoo parlor to price check and check out artist, and I showed her my tattoo and if there was a way to cover up this tattoo and how much it would cost me. I thought I was going to have to cover up the name and the pisces, and for months I had been looking for tattoos to cover it up. Every tattoo I liked, was huge or just not a style I would want on me forever. And finally this artist explained to me, that she could cover up his name and keep the pisces symbol and if anything make them pop a little more. I jumped with excitment, because things were finally looking up, I no longer had to have my ex-husband’s name on me.
At work, I wear a suit. For a while I bought my own suit which was fitted for my liking, until I finally got my uniform. The shirt was shorter than I anticipated, and the pants longer. With my suit, no one even knew I had tattoos. I have one on the back of my neck, and I have my pisces’ tat on my lower back (not a tramp stamp though). Whenever I would bend down, suddenly, my lower back tattoo would be exposed, and people would read HIS name outloud. It would frustrate me, because, here I am moving forward with my life, and this tattoo was holding me prisoner to my past life. While I don’t regret the moments between me and Harts, I don’t want to be reminded of it, when he’s not a part of my life anymore.
I figured, I needed a change. No more shit talking! This tattoo had to come off one way or another.
And so, I went to the tattoo parlor, and I decided, it was now or never. I needed to make SOME changes in my life. This could only bring good things in life to me. Even if it just means covering up a tattoo.
I did it.
I finally got that tattoo covered up.
It may not mean much to everyone, but to me, I’m finally moving forward, especially when I felt so stuck.
My first tattoo fo the New Year, means, me finally moving on from the last 4 yeas of my life.