I wrote a blog last year about all the downs that happened in 2009. And one of the things that people have always said is “Next year is going to be a better year.”
What can possibly be better than actually having survived a year?
I am so thankful that I have actually survived all the bullshit in my life, that everything that put me down turned right side up. I am so grateful that I have friends that have helped thru all the drama in my life, and have been able to talk me thru me and keep me sane.
January– I was basically homeless, wondering where I was going to live. My co-workers, family and friends stepped up and gave me and my family everything we needed. Clothes, food, toys for my son. I was so grateful.
February – My son turned 2. I had no money to throw him a birthday party, and my family helped by either baking the cake themselves, donating decorations, or mostly for just being there. In February, I also discovered I had more than my mom and her family. I discovered I had a father and his family to. I met my brother and sister for the first time.
March – I turned 22, and things were looking good at work, but I was still bitter towards my paternal side of the family. Then I was called to work a retreat, and the message really helped me accept my new family. I felt that I would never be able to forgive my father for ABANDONING us.
April – I was just getting used to my new way of life, and I opened my heart and met my father for the first time ever. I was angry and happy and everything in between, but I felt blessed because I was able to share this experience with my then husband, my son (who now has a grandfather), and 22 new girls who I will always consider my little Masterpieces!
May – Was a pretty quiet month, but it was another month that I got closer to my mom’s side of the family. I fell off my bike after finally learning HOW to ride. My aunt from my father’s side of the family came to visit us and in turn came to live with us.
June – A life changing experience, me and my husband fought really bad, and while we tried to make up,..I think we lingered the fight more than we should have.
July – I went on another mini-vacation with my husband to try to rekindle our marriage.
August – My husband turned 26, and my career wasn’t going as planned. My in-laws stepped up and became a big part of all of our lives. This was the first time that I spent HOURS in the kitchen cooking a big meal. The photography business was having its ups and downs, but it was a foot into the right direction. And my son has finally joined daycare.
September – I realized that I finally needed to ask for help. I reunited with a bunch of friends that I’ve lost. I’ve even grown closer to my mom, whom I’ve had issues with since forever. My husband got a new job, making it hard for us to find time for each other. And I finally decided to go back to school to get my GED.
October – My husband came to terms with his MS and his sickness. I was spending a lot of my free time figuring out how to be the wife of the MS diagnosed.
November – Me and my husband, realized that we are great parents together and that while we love each other truly, we can’t be together, unless we wanted to end up 50 and resenting each other. It wasn’t fair for our son for him to see his parents always fighting and arguing. Once that was determined, I moved back in with my mother and we started sharing time with our son evenly. This was a hard point in my life because I’ve spent most of my adult life with my now ex-husband. Reality hit me most during Thanksgiving because this was my first Thanksgiving in a long time, without him.
December – My family, which includes, my mother”s side, my father’s side and my in-laws really stepped up to the plate and where there for my entire family. While this transition was really hard on me, it was equally as hard on my ex-husband. But even harder on my son because since even before he was conceived his parents were always together. My family has really made me and my son feel so loved. And my mother-in-law has really helped out my ex-husband.
So while my life may not be perfect, and while I may have had so much shit happen that brings me down, I look around me and I realize that I am truly lucky, because 2010 was the BEST year I have ever had. Even writing these blogs is a blessing in disguise, because of these blogs my friends have been able to better connect with me, and get to know me on a more personal level. Because of my blogs, I have made life long friends that have helped and supported me through all the tough times in my life. Whenever I read my old blogs, it seems like it was years ago, and I remember all the crap going on. Reading my old blogs, I realize how strong and blessed I am, because if anyone had been in my shoes, I wouldn’t be here.
Until Next Time