Archive for March, 2013

Gay Marriages?

It seems just about right to send a little of my opinion somewhere. Everyone else is doing it and I’m beginning to get just a little fed up with all the hype about gay marriage. 

Last time I checked, wasn’t the word GAY, translated into HAPPY? This may be just me, and my opinion clearly isn’t going to change anything in society, but I need to vent. 

I am sick and tied of government trying to rule our lives. Wasn’t the whole point of being in America to be free? Freedom is what made us. We as Americans, have been through a lot. A lot of changes and a lot of evolution. We have ended the ways of slavery we have encouraged the ways of equality. What seems to be the issue here? We have a lot more issues behind us then ever before, and yet all anyone seems to be worried about is what individuals are doing in there individuals lives. Maybe the reason we don’t have JOBS is because kids keep failing and dropping out of school, therefore not paving the ground for the future. Therefore not providing the best jobs out there. But here is our government worrying about our weight, about who we choose to love. 

Here is what I choose to tell these people that really think they matter in our lives.Image

Fuck you government! 

 

What I choose to eat, morally and sexually, should be none of your business. Worry about schools, and security and safety for my kids. For OUR future for those that have not been corrupted yet? 

The point of marriage is to be joined in holy matronmony to the person that you love. I do agree that some people are abusing the privilege to get married just because they can, while others who are begging to be able to spend there life with the person they love, cannot do so. 

There is a reason why most religions require you to take months worth of classes prior to getting married, and its simply so you learn that life is not all about you but about the both of you. That is not something that comes off as easy as just moving in with them. The idea of a divorce without TRYING to make the marriage work, should be forbidden. 

I am a girl in love. I am in love with an amazing man who will do anything for me and vice versa. I understand him and he understands me and one day, with God on our side, we will hopefully get married. If he is not the person I marry then at least we will make peace with it, but this is a decision that me and him have made ourselves. IF he was a she and I was in love with a woman, I would love the opportunity to make that decision myself as well. 

I believe that marriage should be made with two people who are devoted to each other in EVERY ASPECT of the word. They should be connected spiritually, physically, emotionally, mentally and morally. No person should get married to anyone unless they have all. You will not, cannot grow as individuals unless there is a partner with you growing with you. If your partner holds you back, you hold yourself back too. Whether your partner is a male or female, love sees no color. It is your heart that feels it. Therefore, I support GAY marriage because I will always stand by the side that makes you HAPPY!! 

A marriage, as long as it’s a HAPPY marriage, will always have my support. 

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With lots of Love and Blessings

Vanesa ❤

 

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Good Mom Vs. Bad Mom

 

I’ve always tried to be the best mom I knew how to be, and that says a lot because I didn’t know how to be a mom. Becoming a mother does not come with a manual that will teach you how to excel in everything. Part of being human is dealing with obstacles on a daily basis and learning from it all. Afterall if you do not learn anything, than what’t the point really? 

So I haven’t been working and it’s been driving me crazy staying at home and becoming a stay at home mom. I’ve always been on the move, always in and out. But it has really had me thinking and growing spiritually on the inside. I stay home, do my housely duties pick up my son from school and go straight into mom mode. We do and review homework, we play around, and then I cook dinner. Sometimes he helps me. I rarely go out to eat or order food in because I have actually grown to love cooking. I was never the best cook, I will never go to Top Chef or Hell’s Kitchen, but I love to cook. It gives me a moment to relax and enjoy who I’m cooking for. My boyfriend is my guinea pig because even if my food sucks, which it has at some points, he will eat it. He’ll tell me what it needs or what I was missing or put too much of on, for future references, and it really helps. Sometimes I feel like Julia Child, who would just go into the kitchen and start mixing ingredients together in order to make something delicious and sometimes it was an epic fail, or a real success. 

Staying at home has really allowed me to see life on a budget. When we do go out, it’s usually for free or discounted events. You will never see me pay full price for anything, even for my boyfriend’s birthday, which just passed, I was couponing away. I never believed that money is what makes happiness, I do not believe that spending $100/1000 in one night will make it the best night ever. 

It has been a while since I last blogged and I’ve been feeling it. My dreams have been words lately. I’ve asked myself what it all means, but when I would look at the words they were adjectives, verbs, nouns. They were words that I would normally use in my blogs or when I would write and I realized through my dreams how much I missed writing. I have all this time now, why not be productive and not lose myself?

I have lost myself before and I didn’t know it, but I am on the path to finding myself now. A few blogs ago (I think) I wrote that I was getting more in touch with my spiritually again. I am a proud catholic, not a catholic of convenience (Easter/Christmas) but I’ve been holding myself back from learning more about MY Christ for stupid reasons. 

Most church groups meet on weekdays, and I use my son as an excuse because I don’t want him to stay out late. Sometimes it’s ok, but ALL THE TIME? I don’t know how I feel about that. I titled my blog Good Mom Vs. Bad Mom because sometimes I feel like a bad mom. When I have nothing to do except play house, my so goes to sleep at 8/9 o’clock every night. No problems. But when I do one of MY events, he goes to sleep at 10/11 o’clock. 

The last time I had walked into THIS particular church was when I was attending a funeral/wake for a special person in the Catholic community. I had never had the pleasure of meeting him, but I am getting to know of him through all the good people he has touched spiritually and emotionally. I walked into the church and it felt weird. It felt empty. It was a full house and yet I still felt empty and disconnected. But here I see all these people praising and jumping for joy. And here is my 5 year old son, my right hand man, my little shadow, tittering tattering away behind me. I look around and realize that the only reason it feels weird was because the last time I was here, was not on a happy moment and here everyone was so happy. Was it ok for me to be happy with them? That night I felt so special and warm and open and right! But I made it home close to 11 o’clock at night knowing that my son had to go to school tomorrow in the morning. I was joking around saying, “If people see me, they will either think I’m a good mom or a bad mom, because no matter where I go or what time it is my son is always a few short steps in back of me.” And it does have me thinking. 

Am I a good mom for taking him everywhere with me? Or am I a bad mom because I take him everywhere with me with no regard to his schedule for the following day? 

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This is a horrible way to end this blog, but I just can’t write anymore. The confusion inside me weird. Because I want to believe that I’m a good mom because I’m exposing my son to things I never got exposed to as a child, I am giving my son a chance to learn and embrace everything and everyone around him, but still, it seems selfish sometimes. I know he appreciates the moments we have together, because I do as well, but a child of 5 should be getting 10-12 hours of sleep right? Am I ruining his functionality for the following day by wanting my son to see that there is more to life than just school and videogames? 

 

Until The Next Rant

Vanesa ❤

My 4 foot Shadow

I must either be the best mom in the world or the worst. Everywhere I go, I have a 4 foot pigment impaired shadow following me around. I go to movies, or to hang out with friends, or to church or even just to the bathroom, and there is my shadow. My baby boy. Well my not so baby anymore. 

I am finally learning how to let go of him. I am starting to realize that my baby is indeed a big boy. He does everything without me and its a heartbreak but relief at the same time. MY birthday just passed and all I think about is having another baby. All my friends are having babies either for the first time or the second time. They’re all getting married and living happily ever after or on there way to the happily ever after and I’m here. 

I have an amazing man to stand by my side and an amazing little boy to stand right next to us. They always say the more you hang out with someone the more they become you. And my son has turned into my boyfriend in a big way. My son will no longer deny that my boyfriend is his father. When they ask “Where’s your dad?” He’ll point and say “He’s right there!” He gets jealous when his step-dad is getting attention from someone other than him, and he looks up to him more than anything. 

The best decision I have ever made in my life was having my little walking and talking and shadow following me around everywhere and anywhere. And even more so, the amazing man he choose to be his new dad. I’m glad that I was able to make a smart choice about something in my life.