When I sit down and put my life into preceptive, I wonder” HOW I am still sane. And what kills me is that thru all the BULL SHIT in my life (primarily baby daddy – since he lost the respective title of ex-husband) that I can still stand with a smile on my face.
I don’t think I’m a bitch. I think I am REAL. I will be 100% honest until my grave and that will never stop. It’s a blessing and a curse all in one because sometimes I’m TOO blunt and TOO honest. Therefore giving me the reflextion of being a bitch.
Baby daddy just told me the most fucked up news in the world, and I’m pissed. I’m not pissed at the fact that him and my aunt are together, or that he’s being an adulterous bastard and doing nasty shit on MY bed with her. No! I’m actually pissed that after spending 5 years with him, after loving him and giving him my heart, and giving him a son, that I feel nothing for him or the situation.
I am pissed that I can easily overlook all of his flaws and look at him as if he’s nothing more than a stranger to him..
I am pissed at the fact that I CANNOT shed tears for him.
I LOVED this guy and yet, I feel NOTHING. How can I possibly feel nothing? I don’t even feel sympathy for him anymore.
I can look him straight in the eyes, and see nothing, feel nothing, and see him as nothing.
I think the fact that he has turned into NOTHING to me hurts me more than his cheating and lying combined.
Being separated from him and all this NOTHINGness happening in my life has really made me open my eyes and see that my entire relationship with him was nothing but an entire manipulation on his part. Why not? He’s a professional salesman who knows how to sell bull shit to random people, so why shouldn’t he sell bull shit to every person that encounters his life. I promise, I’m probably not the only one that thinks so, I’m just the only that says to because that’s who I am.
I am honest and I’m blunt.
Bluntly speaking, I already told him all of this and he knows how I feel. I don’t think its healthy to hold in any type of emotion therefore he is ALWAYS the first to know how I feel. So for ALL THOSE PEOPLE who feel the need to tell him how I feel, save yourself the trouble.
As much as I “care” about him, I sure he feels the same way about me. If you still insist on being a bitch about it, just send him the link and save ur typing fingers for something that is worth it.
Happy Effen Mother’s Day
Until next time