Archive for April, 2010

Mr. & Mrs. US

ARG! 

Yeah really expressed my anger there right? lmfao 

But no, seriously, all jokes aside, I hate men!!!! 

 

No0o0o I’m not a lesbian,….but I just hate how society classifies men and women differently. And it’s not only men and women. Because a white woman gets treated different than a black woman. You know why? Because society is so effed up it’s ridiculous. 

But I’m actually getting off topic. 

 

One of my co-workers is getting married and she has actually been reaching out to me a lot to help her. Because I helped my sister during her wedding and I was planning my own wedding (yes WAS ::sad face:: ) so she figured I knew cool places, which of course I did. 

So today, she FINALLY gives me her invitation to her wedding. On the card she writes, Ms. And she puts MY name. Which is wrong cuz I’m a Mrs. but whatever. On the ACTUAL invitation she put Mr. & Mrs. and my HUSBAND’s name. I joke around a lot in my office and it didn’t ACTUALLY bother me, but I bought it to her attention. Yes it is the formal way to do it, but she barely knows my husband, why would she make the invitation addressed to him. And she said because it was formal. But meanwhile on the enevolpe she wrote my name. 

  

  

  

  

I went back and forth and she kept proving my point. For my other co-worker, b.c she didn’t know her husband’s name she put Mr. & Mrs. LAST NAME. I told her she should’ve done that for me too. 

Now, all joking aside, I HATE THAT SHIT!!!! 

Why must MY offspring be named after the father? 

Why must I take HIS name when I’m getting married? 

Why? Why? WHY? 

It’s bull shit I know. 

And yes! I have my husband’s last name, but it didn’t come easy. I actually fought for to keep my name, and it was until I was signing the marriage license that I finally agreed to take his full last name. The reason he convinced me (barely cuz 2 years later I still argue my point) is because for me to have his name would mean the world to him, because of what his name and his family meant to him. The reason I hesitated is because my first name is so common. 

According to facebook there are only less than 20 people with my first name (spelling and all) and maiden name combination. But OVER 500 people with my first name (spelling and all) and married name combination. I hate being the same as everyone. 

I wanted to hyphenate my name. I didn’t care the order, I just wanted to. Obviously, that didn’t go as planned. 

Now when it came to my son, I also wanted his name hyphenated, but that was an even BIGGER fight L so I finally caved. And that’s how I came to changing my name to my husband’s name. 

In school, there was this girl that her and her mom had different last names, but all the teachers and neighbors kept calling her mom Mrs. and her daughter’s name. But for me, it was different. Me, my mom and my sister all had the same last name, so when people called my mom Mrs. MY last name, she wouldn’t hesitate to look because that’s who she was. 

When my son was first born, I had to take him to the doctors for his one week appointment. And when it was my son’s turn to go up, they kept on calling Mrs. (my son’s last name) but because I didn’t go by that, it honestly took me 5 calls before I even knew they were talking to me. My husband last name is so common that I thought she might’ve been calling someone else, especially since it wasn’t MY name.   

And I realized that if I kept my name, that’s how it was going to continue to be. I wanted to have the same last name as my son, and if that means, I have to take my husband’s common last name with my common first name and be a common name,…then so be it. At least my son won’t have to explain to people that his mother has a different name. 

So yeah, I blabbed a lot in this blog, but it’s only cuz it’s frustrating not being equal to my husband. And then when I complained about it, it’s my fault cuz I took my husband’s name. And even so, just because I took HIS name does not mean, that I am him. I am my own person and even though I am in a relationship, he does not make up who I am and I do not make up who he is. 

Mr. & Mrs.

 

I don’t like Mr. & Mrs. (His name) 

I don’t mind Mr. & Mrs. (his first name, my first name, OUR last name) 

I even don’t mind Mr. & Mrs. (OUR last name) 

I just don’t want to be lost in HIS name. 

Ok,…I think I’m done,… 

Until Next time 

TTYL 

2010 continues to BANG!

I am the happiest I have ever been.

I knew the fire in my house happened for a reason.

And now more than ever, I am thankful. As I was telling one of my friends,…

The fire that took my home, was the best thing that has ever happened to me.

While God may have a sense of humor, He knows what He does, when He does WHAT He does! NEVER, doubt that!!!

Stay blessed

NH ❤

Daddy’s Girls

It was an August. Not too sure of the year. He said it was 98. Maybe. Maybe not.

He was waiting for us downstairs, and it was the 3 girls walking to meet him. My mom asked us if we were excited. We said yes.

We drive for 2 hours to Great Adventure, and I remember waiting on these LONG ASS lines, just to get on some rides. I remember the “Batman” ride, I couldn’t get on it because I was too short. Which was bull shit because I was only an inch shorter than my mom and she got on.

I remember me and my sister getting on one of the water rides and both of our parents were waiting for us on the bridge. They were trying to keep the cameras dry. But they got wet either way.

I remember waiting for the cannoning ride, it was an EXTREMELY long line. And these 3 people (3 guys and a girl with a large Tweety bird doll, it was about 4 ft) kept shouting to people in the front “Yeah we’re coming.” They were skipping everybody on the lines. Finally they got to be behind us. Me and my sister stayed and we’re not going to get skipped. And our father overheard them saying that they were going to get passed us no matter what. He told us to move aside and he went in front of us.

They skipped us.

He grabbed the leg of the Tweety Bird, and we all heard it rip. He told them not to skip us. But they did anyway. The manage to skip there way all the way to the front of the ride. You hear my father shouting to the workers, “They skipped everybody.” Of course they tried to deny everything. We turn around and everyone is following what he is saying. “Yeah, they skipped. They skipped everybody.”

The lady with the big Tweety Bird and her friends were told to get out of this line. They were not permitted to ride this ride. And the crowd begins to cheer.

My father tells my mom, “I knew something was going on. I wasn’t going to let them skip my girls.”

As we got to the front of the line, the workers of this ride thanked us. And we went on the ride.

This was the first and last time, I knew I had a “dad.”

Well til next time

TTYL

The Prodigal Daughter

I promised my sister this blog,…so this blog is dedicated to her.

On my birthday and a little time after that, I was upset that my father was back in my life (as you guys read). How dare he try to be a father NOW, 22 years later. I was hanging out with my sister and of course, we both started talking about him. Now that he was back in both of our lives.

We began sharing OUR different stories with each other and I started noticing, that he spoke to my sister in a different, calmer tone then he did to me. And if you’ve been reading my blogs, you understand why. The way I write my blogs, would be about the same tone I speak to him. And of course, he responses the same way. Of course he does, I get my attitude from him!!

Sharing Stories

I told my sister, he spoke nicer to her, and she said, “of course he does. I’m not here to make him feel bad about him leaving. I want him to see my accomplishment even though he wasn’t around.”

Wow! She shut me up!!!! She was 100% right!!

When that bell went off in my head, she wanted to dig it in deeper. She started asking me all these questions, “are you happy with your life?” “If you could go back in time would you change anything.” Yes, I AM happy with my life, and NO I wouldn’t change a thing. “If he WAS around, you wouldn’t of met your husband, you wouldn’t have your son.” Wow!! When did my big sister become so inspirational??

From THAT moment, after that conversation with her, I realized she was right,….my entire view of THAT family, changed! A weight was lifted from my heart. All this anger and hate just disappeared.

As the weeks passed, and the more I started to reflect on myself, and my spiritually, is when I realized, that hating this man or anybody in his family, was completely worthless. Who was I hurting? Nobody but myself. They didn’t care about what I was feeling. They didn’t understand the hurt I felt inside. No one saw that little girl inside me hurting and crying for her daddy. But you know what? I’m not that little girl that wanted her daddy. I’m a woman who knows where she is, and who she is. No man defined my mother, who raised 2 girls, 15months apart, by HERSELF, and no man will define ME. Not even the man responsible for my conception.

Its funny how one conversation with your big sister changes everything right?

Well until next time
TTYL
NH ❤