One of the many things I have learned in life is how to be a little nicer, a little more humble. I know I have written a little bit about how I feel myself doing some self-growth. I have been going to church a little bit more and having self-encounters with Christ. And it’s not to say I’m better than you or anyone, but I do feel like I’m a better me! 

I’m not the richest person in the world, I’m not the prettiest or healthiest, or anything. I am included in your average Joe (in this case-Jane) category. I am no one special. One of the things I have learned is how to be a mustard seed. 

There is this expression that in little words, basically means plant yourself. Not literally of course, but take the knowledge that you have and share it. And if your seed gets implanted on one more person and they pass it on, you’ve done your job! Because it DOES take just one person to make a difference. PAY IT FORWARD! 

There was this one day about 2/3 months ago, that this man at the bus stop was asking for money. He asked for quarters, so to me, I assumed he meant he needed spare change for the bus. I didn’t have the 2 quarters he was asking for, but I did have a metrocard with at least $0.75 on it. 

ME: Did you need extra fare for the bus? (looking into my purse for the metrocard)

HIM: No, I was just gathering some quarters so I could have enough for a sandwich. 

ME: I don’t have spare change but I could buy it for you?

HIM: You don’t have to do that

ME: I know, but I want to.

HIM: Thank you, may God Bless your beautiful heart.

I ordered the sandwich for him and paid for it, and he shed a tear for me thanking me repeatedly. I went home like normal. I didn’t expect any praise any acknowledgement, nothing. To me it was the right thing to do and I was happy to share with whoever needed it, especially when I’ve been so blessed with all that I have. Why not share?

There was another event in where I went to do laundry and I accidentally took the bag of clean clothes that I was about to donate, down to the laundromat with me. The clothes had been up there for a while and I let it slip with the bags of clothes I had. So as I finished putting the clothes in the dryer I went to the deli right next door and asked

ME: Hey, do you know of anyone who needs BOYS clothes size 4T/5T?

DELI GUY: I don’t but let me ask the other guy (turns to ask)

LADY: Excuse me, I didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but are you selling the clothes? 

ME: No. I’m giving it away.

LADY: Would you mind? That’s my son’s size and they’re both outgrowing there clothes. 

ME: Yeah here. There washed and folded and in good condition. 

LADY: Thank you thank you. You just saved me so much money. Can I please buy you something?

ME: No that’s ok! Please take the clothes. IF anything doesn’t fit him just pass it along to someone who really needs them.

LADY: I insist please let me buy you something. You have such a beautiful heart. 

ME: I’ll take a bottle of water, thank you but you really don’t have to. 

I walked out the store with a bottle of water because she really wasn’t leaving until she gave me something. But again, I left without feeling anything. This was normal to me. Again, why shouldn’t I help out when I already have so much. Granted I’m not rich, but I’m not poor either. I’m not without my basic needs. It felt good to be able to give to someone else who needed it more than I did. 

Today, I think this one touched my heart a little more because I felt something, I felt a flutter in my heart for this guy. And I guess that’s where this blog comes from. I was walking back from doing grocery shopping, my son, my man and myself, and I had the (4) loaves of bread in my hand and we both see a man looking inside a garbage can clearly looking for food. My man said “Damn, I wish we had one of the lunchables that our son takes to school to give to him.” And I said, “I mean I know it’s not a lot but we can give him one of the loaves of bread right?” So my man gets his attention and asks him if he’s hungry and the man hides his face in embarrassment and says yes. I gave him one of the loaves and he began to cry and thank us again. As we were walking away you could see him cry and I went to our shopping cart and suggested to my man to give him one of the capris sun that we had just bought, especially since bread usually makes you dehydrated. We opened the box and gave him two. He didn’t say much but his tears said everything for him. I felt accomplished. This was the first time that I truly felt appreciated for something I did, and again I did it because we had it. I mean why not? I’m not any better than him, afterall we are both humans and we’ve all had our hard struggles right?

Talking about struggles, I had a bad day one day. We had no milk no eggs no bread no cereal no cold cuts, nothing in the fridge. We had asked the corner deli, since we go there a lot, if they could credit us some stuff and we’d pay them the following day when a little more money was coming our way. The guy was hesistant but said yes, since we ARE always in the store, and some guy that overheard the conversation said to me “Listen ma, don’t worry about it. Save your credits for another day, today I got you.” He wasn’t trying to ‘holla’ at me or anything, he went about his business and I kept asking him if it was ok. I ended up getting half a gallon of milk, half a pound of cheese, and bread. That $8 that he offered to pay for the essentials really helped a lot. My son had a school trip that day and at least I was able to take him to school with a grilled cheese sandwich and a container of chocolate milk. 

The point of this blog, was to express my gratiude. And to share, that everything you do, do it with purpose because it DOES come back around. God will always provide when you have a little bit of faith. I did not expect that guy to help us out at all. It was just a few things that I had every intention of paying for when I had the money, and he was my angel that gave me what he could. Just the way I see him as my angel, I’m sure that’s what the sandwich guy thought, and the single mother, and the homeless guy thought of me. I’m not anyone special. I am a humble girl from New York that struggles on a day to day basis but I have faith that thru this hard struggle of a life, God will always provide for me especially when I need it the most. 

Pay it Forward guys. Trust your heart that not everyone is bad, not everyone is out to get you, not everyone wants money to smoke or drink or hang out. Sometimes they really need it and if you have it, why not share it? Good things come to those who appreciate life and not just live it. 

Until Next Time

Vanesa