On my brother-in-law’s 30th birthday, I made an appearence, but I didn’t stay. I stormed out of the party early, because me and my husband had broken up over the phone. I was too pissed to enjoy the party, and during the course of the week, we spent trying to make it work, sleeping in different sections of the house, not talking to each other for periods at a time, until eventually, I caved and slept at my sister’s house.

This was the first Thanksgiving I had spent without my husband, the first time I had slept without him or made decisions without him. We had a wedding to go as a couple, and we weren’t together anymore, so what was I supposed to do now? This is my first time back at church on a regular basis, my first visit to Santa without him. There were a lot of first that were happening in such a short period of time, and it was scary for me.

At 17 years old I was in a relationship with this man, and I had been with him since. I was 22 and didn’t really know how to have a life outside of me and Harts. Everything was always us together, and all of this was new to me.

Here I was 22, with a 2 year old, nowhere to go and no money since I had no job. It was time to start adjusting to life as an independent woman!! I moved in with my mom, went to school to get my GED, found a job, my life was looking up. I was dating more, I started hanging out with my friends more, life was great for me and my son. Me and Harts seldom got into arguments, our son knew both his parents, and loved us equally. I even went on vacation for the first time by myself. This being independent lifestyle was really doing me good.

Even when me and Harts got into a massive argument that went months of no communication with each other, life was still good. Again, my dating life was finally starting to hit off, I had forgotten what it felt like to feel pretty. Oh that’s another thing I forgot to mention, I lost soooooo much weight when me and Harts broke up. It was probably all the stress, and the fact that now I had someone to impress; myself.

Even with my blogs, I went on major emo mode with everyone. I deleted a lot of people on facebook, I blocked people on twitter, I wanted nothing to do with Harts and my aunt, his new girlfriend. I wanted none of her family members on my page, passing messages along about things that I say, and have them interpret it as something about them. I was just ready to move on, and if that meant going completely AWOL on my father’s side of the family, I had no problem doing so…afterall…I survived 22 years without them in my life, I didn’t really need them for the next 22 either right?

I’ve gone thru the phase in my life, where I really needed to find myself. I was 22 years old, and living in my ex-husband’s image. I was still depending on my mom, and my son needed HIS mom to figure herself out. So that’s exactly what I did.

I have an amazing man in my life, an adorable son, and focused fully on myself. My life is definietly looking up, and nothing is going to hold me back.

I’ve recently readded all the ‘family’ on facebook because as of right now, the only person I am looking to please, is myself. I can’t promise tomorrow, but I promise tonight đŸ˜‰

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