I can proudly announce to the world, that I have a beautiful 3-year-old “big” boy.

When I was first pregnant, I signed up for this site that allowed me to track my pregnancy. And it even followed me thru his first few weeks, to months, to now even years.

This week, I got an email labeled “My 3 Year Old; Handling Bed-Wetting” so this is a tough subject for me to hit, because my son does wet the bed.

When my son was still living in ONE house, he never wet the bed, we used to put diapers on him just in case, and he would always wake up with a dry diaper, to the point that we stopped putting them on him, and his bed would remain dry. When I moved out and I bought him with me, his bed would still remain dry, and I was so proud of him. But it seems that me and my [ex] husband seem to be arguing more NOW than when we were together. We really try not to, but I think because we KNOW each other so well (5 years of being together) we really know the right buttons to press to piss each other off. And the more and more that me and my son’s father argue, the more and more my son seems to wet his diaper (bed).

In the email, it said,

No one knows exactly what causes bed-wetting. Sometimes physical traits are a factor …Emotional changes may also trigger bed-wetting. If your child starts having accidents after months of dry nights, it could be that (s)he’s facing new stresses or fears.”

Uhmm,…what a blow to my ego that put me in. My son is not used to me and his father arguing all the time. In fact, he is used to us acting all lovey dovey around each other, even when we used to argue, we did it out of love; for all of that to be turned upside down on him? It’s only been 3 months, and 3 months is not a long enough time to understand that we’re not together anymore. It is not long enough when it took him 3 years to learn not to pee on himself. So it’s no wonder that he’s been wetting his diaper(bed).

We’re trying so hard to not fight in front of our son, but I’m sure he sees it. I am happy when I wake up and see him, than I talk to his father and my mood falls all the way down, and I try to act like I’m in a good mood, but my son knows me. I mean, come on, my son is the one person in my life who has ever been THAT close to my heart. He was inches away from my heart, he went to sleep to my heart beat, he followed the sound of my breathing; so of course he knows when I’m hurting or in pain. And of course, my emotional distress is causing my son to have emotional distress to.

Part of me understands why couples decide to “stay together for the kids” because it does take a toll on them too, but I know that my son wants to see the both of us happy. And while his father made me happy once, and will probably make me happy later in the future, I need my space right now. I will always love him but this love/hate relationship is really taking a toll on my kid 😦

Until Next Time

NH<3

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