I can’t but feel the way I’ve been feeling.

My life has never really failed me. I’ve always been the type of person to see the glass as half full.

And while life has been throwing me half full glasses, and I SEE them, I can’t help but feel half empty.

ice cold feeling

I feel like fresh air is my xantax,…my escape from the depression I am reminded of on a regular basis. I’ve never even been a depressive person and I can’t seem to get myself out of this rut. Out of this feeling like I don’t even belong anymore.

I just want to curl myself up in a ball and blend in with my messy sheets and the pillows that are thrown onto the already messy bed.

I hate having to constantly fight with my husband over the same shit over and over again. I hate always losing the battle between me and my subconscience. Always feeling like I could be better but my outer self keeps denying me to do so.

I’ve gotten to the point of no return, where I don’t give a shit about what you think about me. If you want to see bitch me,….trust me you will see her.

I hate this shit so much, that I just want a vacation from the world. Just me and my xantax! And return to the world that I strive so hard to make for myself.

Until Next Time,

Hopefully my mood will be better next time

NH ❤

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